Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 Breaks Hearts

The best superhero team in movie history soars off into the forever and beautiful sky.

As far as I’m concerned, the finale of the MCU.

THIS IS SPOILER-FREE UNTIL I INDICATE OTHERWISE

A brief note on the Death of the MCU + Ant-Man 3

If you’re like me, you enjoy the Marvel Cinematic Universe out of a love for the source material and the basic elements that make comic book stories compelling. It’s a medium where a big tree, bursting with wooden heart like GROOT and a green warrior murderer like GAMORA can have a meaningful and earnest found-family-friendship. I’m a bleeding-heart superhero fan, but I am not one of the people who thinks that most of the MCU movies are very good. They are not. Less than five of them are truly great movies. A handful of mehs. Some of them are disastrously bad (my least favorite probably being The Eternals). But what most of them are is serviceable action comedies that transcend the action-comedy genre by introducing creative elements from the comic books. Superhero movies have also sort of become a genre of their own at this point, and never has that been clearer than something like Ant-Man and The Wasp: (the wasp is never onscreen) Quantumania starring up-and-coming movie star Evangeline Lily. Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania was nothing but superhero crap, as displayed by the fact that they forgot the key part of what makes Ant-Man a cinematic character whose presence onscreen is justifiable: it’s visually interesting to watch him be small and interact with other small shit that’s much bigger than he is once he turns small. Small Ant-Man almost getting crushed by a kitten was interesting onscreen. Him falling through a water pipe was interesting. I imagine things like this are what compelled Edgar Wright towards the material before Marvel made the shit-brained decision to dump him (no disrespect to Peyton Reed who I think is very talented and deserves his fair shake). In the second Ant-Man film, which was not good, they still kept true to the fun of Ant-Man being small and other things being big. That was what worked. Ant-Man 3? They’re in some shitty-looking CGI realm that makes no sense where the scale of everything makes no sense because it’s all CGI. You can’t really tell the size of anything. And then there’s nothing interesting about this family and their powers because in a CGI world, there’s no scale to make Ant-Man’s Ant-Manning the least bit exciting. And, of course, there’s no sense of who the characters are in any unique and creative way. They are archetypes AT BEST, unclear more commonly. I didn’t hate it, because I liked the MODOK shit because it was stupid as hell, but it wasn’t a good movie at all. It was a bad movie. And the story didn’t demand Ant-Man. You could’ve swapped Scott Lang out for Peter Quill and the story would’ve been virtually identical. (Scott Lang is Paul Rudd btw)

Speaking of Peter Quill,

My General, Spoiler-Free Review

This movie fucking rules. 2021’s massive flop The Suicide Squad was our first true look at Director James Gunn blending the superhero genre with his Troma background (fucked up body horror that’s only for hooligans like me). This movie took that to the Nth degree.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1 dropped when I was 13 years old, and it changed my fucking life. It made me want to do movies because it felt like a movie for weirdos and outcasts like me where one of the weirdos got 150 million dollars to do weird shit but everybody ended up loving it. Maybe that meant weird shit was more universally accessible than people had thought? Maybe it was time for the revenge of the nerds and the meek inheriting? Point is, I got to see a vision that spoke for a part of my imagination and I had never felt anything like it. James felt like he spoke for us, the fans of the silly shit and the lovers of outcasts and misfits. Now, I’ve been working in Hollywood for 18 months and everything is super great over here right now and it’s really chill. The industry’s future looks bright.

Since the first movie shocked the industry with its ridiculous characters becoming semi-iconic (or more accurately, sticking out more than many in a Marvel universe where it’s hard not to get shuffled away into the mix. Remember Moon Knight? Me neither), the characters have remained extremely consistent. And their stories have proven vital to the overall story of the Infinity Saga. The Guardians were crucial to what made Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame work, as they brought much-needed levity, raw emotion, and more to these scenes.

I mean, Quill almost destroying the universe because Thanos killed the one he loves was awful of him… but wouldn’t you shoot a big purple alien in the fucking face with a space laser for doing that? I probably would. And Quill has been an immature guy for a while. He was abducted by alien pirates and brought to outer space when he was 8. Nobody really taught him how to be a grown-up.

Without the Guardians, I don’t know if the finale of the Avengers movies would’ve worked at all. They were the emotional key to Marvel’s cosmic world, which is where they planned to make all of the pieces come together. I mean, God knows there wasn’t a single fucking drop of emotion in that dog shit Captain Marvel movie.

I’ve been rambling but we’re still in the Spoiler-Free zone.

So now I’ll talk about the actual movie. Like many reviewers have pointed out, this is probably the messiest Guardians movie. And Volume II was pretty damn messy. It was the most overstuffed, and Volume II was very overstuffed. This was also one of my favorite Marvel movies ever, and close to as good as the first one. The movie has a maturity and urgency to it that the previous ones did not. Everything felt easy and breezy in 1&2, even when the stakes were high. Those movies worked so well because Gunn has always led with character, and while we got very emotional experiences with the characters in the first two installments, this one finds them all in a much sadder place. Rocket is depressed. Everyone feels like they’re locked in a sort of arrested development. Quill is mourning Gamora and reeling back from meeting her 2014, still-kind-of-a-villain self. She helps the Guardians, and while that decision was underdeveloped, I was kind of glad. Her motivation is extremely simple, but I didn’t give a shit about her motivation so long as it made sense and got the gang back together. Quill and 2014 Gamora’s story doesn’t get much screen time, but it’s told honestly and the actors are so fucking good at playing those characters that it was extremely emotional for me. Especially since I relate to Quill so viscerally as an upward-failing mediocre white man.

The Star of the Show

This movie confirms to us what huge James Gunn fans have known since the beginning, particularly if you’ve read his novel The Toy Collector: Rocket is James. He tweeted it and everything. And Rocket is the center of these movies. For so long, we’ve been following Chris Pratt. By the way, he’s great in the role as always and his new lifestyle and views do not bother me and bleed into my perception of the character like I thought they would. The Legendary Star-Lord remains legendary. But now, as the third movie opens with a musical reflection on Rocket’s perception of himself, we see that this has been his story all along. Or, that’s what James says. Seems kinda bullshit to me- movies 1 and 2 were obviously about Quill- but hey, he keeps making good movies so he can say whatever he wants to say about them. Experiencing certain moments with Rocket in this movie makes you look back at experiences we’ve had with him that will be significantly more impactful once you get to know him in the ways we do in this installment.

Rocket’s bar meltdown in Guardians 1 is a lot more devastating when you know where he’s coming from.

Rocket’s journey unravels through flashbacks in this movie, and the sinister villain (one of the rare effective MCU villains and certainly the most effective antagonist of the Guardians trilogy) torments him in ways that are brutal, sadistic, and really pushing that PG-13 rating. At least by contemporary, Disneyfied standards. I was surprised the MCU had the gall for this movie- it really felt like it was more original and honest than most of the Disney Marvel stuff. Of course, the movie was disjointed at points and could be overwhelming. But so could the galaxy, and so can being Rocket Raccoon. He’s been so unsure of himself throughout these movies, but he’s grown: he’s gone from a cynical prick to a family man who’s still a little bit of a cynical prick but is no longer afraid of opening up his heart. This is the movie where he’s forced to face that he might not be okay with his life, or at least… he’s got a piece missing, so to speak.

As for the other characters, it’s hard to say much. They’re all so damn good at doing this and have been doing it for so long. Again, I’m a wimp. I cried a whole lot in this movie, just seeing these people together and realizing this might be the last time these characters share the screen. AND I FUCKING HOPE IT IS BECAUSE FINALITY IS ACTUALLY GOOD FOR YOUR BRAND, MARVEL. To just mow through it a bit: Pratt’s great (and he’s got a rotten streak right now). Saldaña is different, but also familiar, really displaying how naturally the character comes to her. I love those two so much. By the end of the movie, you’ll appreciate what Quill and Gamora ultimately mean to each other so much more.

Nebula, as always, is always serving. She doesn’t develop much, but she’s already grown a lot as a character, and I accept her where she is in the story. Her arc ended pretty much as soon as she became one of the heroes after Guardians 2. Karen Gillan is amazing in the role. She carries a lot of scenes that, with a less skilled performer, would’ve been annoying expository crap. Gillan made it work. Dave Bautista is incredible as Drax, and while I wish he weren’t so public about his urge to leave the character, I have a tremendous amount of respect for what a performer this guy is. His evolution onscreen has been the prestige version of The Rock’s, and it turns out Bautista is actually a good actor. (I didn’t really care about Glass Onion but I have him saying “sorry liberals” burned into my brain. hilarious) Drax works really really well in this movie, and while there are sequences where he’s the Drax he’s been since Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (bumbling, mostly a joke machine), he’s BLEEDING with heart in this movie and has the emotional moments we want from Drax (including one GIANT pay-off of something that’s been coming throughout the whole series).

Adam Warlock is great, and Will Poulter is hilarious in the role. That said, he was much too limited, and I’d love to see what ended up on the cutting room floor. His character was hardly in the movie at all, and yet he chewed. Had me laughing out loud with the subtlest face movements, a rarity in the made-for-dummies MCU. Bradley Cooper was amazing as Rocket, shocker. He’s always so killer in that role. You really believe this is a Raccoon creature thing who talks and has feelings. Mantis remained just likable enough to me that it makes up for the way her writing kind of annoys me. The cringy fangirl vibe she has works when it works, but I’ve sometimes not loved her onscreen. She’s never been a distraction, but Gunn’s cheesiest writing often goes to her. Kraglin was Kraglin, being Sean Gunn and standing on the sidelines. I like Kraglin. I don’t really give a shit about him, but I like him. And I liked the running joke with him and Cosmo the Spacedog, performed wonderfully by the great Maria Bakalova or however the fuck you spell it. Are there other characters? I forget. Nobody was bad.

Oh, High Evolutionary was awesome. Chukwudi Iwuji went the fuck off.

Like I said before, Gunn’s movies work because they are all about the characters. This is a set piece-hopping, easter egg-filled mishmosh like every Marvel movie, but Gunn’s sensibilities lend to that and he has engineered a way to tell these stories where the confusing chaos of the genres, Superhero and Science Fantasy, are woven into the language of the story in a way that works because it feels like it’s coming from these characters and these characters are easy to love. While the action is as thrilling as ever, the colors are just as beautiful, and the set pieces are equally immersive, the main 5 Guardians are and always will be the standout. The decisions in this movie were all so clearly motivated, the emotions were high, the growth of these characters along the years is traceable and clear and compelling, and this one landed in a way few Blockbusters are capable of, much less something in the withering, dying MCU.

In the spoiler section, I’ll get further into Drax and why he was also so terrific in this in such an unexpected and special way. But the one thing I’ll say about Drax right here, that also applies a bit to Rocket, which is the emphasis of WE over the concept of the chosen one in Guardians of the Galaxy. Star Wars is wonderful and Dune has its strengths, but those two things are about the chosen one saving the world. I don’t believe in a chosen one, I’m not religious. I don’t give a shit bro. And my life has brought me to a point where I’m smart enough to know that most things are better done with supportive people at your side.

Guardians of the Galaxy tells the truth, through these three movies: “We” is better than “I.” These characters all become true to themselves because of each other. That’s why these movies are so perfect for me.

I don’t feel like getting that into this, but despite its box office success, I think Doctor Strange 2 was the death of the MCU. Maybe Eternals. Eternals is where it lost me at least. I’m still a fan of what I’m a fan of. But I no longer feel compelled to watch anything they make for the sole purpose of engaging with the MCU. The MCU doesn’t mean shit to me anymore. But let me tell you, I will always cherish the Guardians Trilogy for being immensely impactful in my life and showing the MCU that a little bit of color and fun are necessary if you’re gonna play with comic book characters.

OVERALL: 8.5/10

TLDR: Guardians 3 is the darkest and most emotional Guardians installment, and though the first one reigns supreme, this is an almost perfect ending for the best characters in Marvel.

PROS

-The characters we love are as great as ever.

-Pratt isn’t distracting and melts into the Star-Lord role as always.

-Much better set pieces than Vol. 2

-Zoe Saldaña pulling off 2014 Gamora so seamlessly and folding right into the story.

-The stakes felt high, the urgency was palpable, it feels like a real movie where stuff can actually have consequences.

-Excellent villain performance.

-A well-executed protagonist switch-up as Quill and Gamora play second to Rocket.

-That great fight scene the whole gang has in Act III.

-Dog Days Are Over Sequence

-Perfectly nails that this whole trilogy is about how the group is better than the chosen one. Fucking Dune is so annoying. How am I supposed to believe that Timothy Chalamet is the messiah?

CONS

-Underused Adam Warlock and Ayesha.

-The editing was the worst it’s been in the series, but most people probably won’t notice.

-Most forgettable Guardians soundtrack. Great songs, but the last two movies felt like they were defined by the soundtrack and there were so many set pieces that

-Some action needed to happen so quickly that it would get hard to track but maybe it was just because I had smoked a bunch of marijuana.

-The transition into Act III with the villain doing something tremendously fucked up was a little confusing.

-Nitpick but zero explanation as to why/how the Guardians took over Knowhere and Knowhere feeling very inconsistent with my memory of it from Vol. 1 and Infinity War.

Spoiler Territory

People Who Dance

I thought Drax dancing was just the best shit ever. One of my favorite lines in the MCU, and one of the lines that best encapsulates what makes the cosmic oddity of these characters so wonderful, was in the second movie when Drax says to Quill: “There are two types of people in this galaxy. People who dance, and people who don’t.” Or something like that. Not quoting directly. Dance is at the center of these movies, and of Gunn’s sensibilities overall. The famous Peacemaker dance is one of my favorite pieces of stupidity in the history of comic book media. Peter Quill saved the universe in Vol. 1 by being one of the people in this galaxy who does dance. And its this willingness to pursue a free and joyful spirit, mixed with the heart that is displayed by his bravery, that draws Gamora to him in the first place. Movie 1’s famous end credit scene is Groot dancing, based on Gunn’s own silly dance.

I think goofy, poorly-choreographed dancing is the best encapsulation of what makes Gunn such a charming filmmaker. It’s unapologetically wonky, but it’s undeniable because it’s authentic. Too much shit is made to be perfect, and as displayed by the High Evolutionary, the journey to perfection is fucking stupid.

Groot’s dancing, Drax’s dancing, Rocket’s dancing… that whole final scene to the perfect Dog Days are Over by Florence and the Machine had me bawling. Drax’s arc, in my opinion, is deeply underrated. He starts the series as this broken and cold killer, haunted by the loss of his family and tearing his soul apart in the pursuit of vengeance. Then, he gets a family that he loves. And they earn that love, it isn’t just told to us like so many other movies like this. By the end, he has put his life on the line many times to save the world, and he’s become part of a family. Now he’s ready to do what he was always meant to do, as either Nebula or Mantis put it (I forget, sorry), which is be a Dad. The scene where he’s talking to the kids in those cages… when he started making those monkey noises, I cried. Sorry, I know I’m lame. But what a journey this guy Drax has been on. Holy shit.

It’s so funny to me that Guardians 3 did the Save The Kids story from Thor 4, just much better. And they did the despotic monstrous dictator wearing purple better than Ant-Man 3.

Other Spoiler Stuff is just gonna be put into the:

Pros (I don’t have cons that spoil anything)

PROS

-Everybody’s ending worked for me. I didn’t mind there being no main character deaths, and I wouldn’t have minded it if they went with some. But I think everything was natural and made sense. And I don’t think either of the fake-out deaths were manipulative.